Crash.

I just finished watching Crash for the first time, and it touched me deeply. It is a testament to how—though we say we are tolerant and understanding of each other and our differences—racism, discrimination is still very much there. How can it be a coincidence that there are eight times as many black people in prison as white people? How can it be circumstantial that black people are targeted for traffic pullovers? These are facts, not biases.

How can anyone say that something as progressive as affirmative action is unfair? And on what basis? That denying qualified white people is reverse discrimination? Fuck you. At least you're qualified; it's easy to complain about giving other people what they don't have when you already have it. Did you have to resist innercity gangs? Did you have to work two jobs when you were 15 to help put food on your family's table? Is your ethnic group most unlikely to ever be in positions of authority? Fuck you. You are not a victim. How can a population raise itself up when it is rhetorically, systematically, fundamentally being held down?

I don't understand why there is so much inequality. Well, that's a lie. I understand perfectly well why there is inequality. What I don't understand is how people can support it, flaunt it, defend it; why people only ever see the threat of diversity and not the value.

Gifts.

This Christmas was one of the better ones I've had. I think it was because it was very low-key and relaxed. With all the stress that comes with shopping, preparing food, making plans, and fitting it all in with daily routines, taking the actual holiday to relax was very, very nice.

I think everyone liked the presents I got them. I bought my brother a double boiler, pastry blender, and sifter for his kitchen collection; I bought my sister a large bread basket from Whole Foods full of bread, muffins, and bagels; I bought my mom Carol King's Living Room Tour double CD; I bought my dad a nice wallet set.

I personally enjoyed every single thing I received. I received a stocking full of vegan candy that my mom ordered from Pangea and Vegan Essentials. She also bought me a bunch of shirts (1, 2, 3) and a wallet from Otsu, The Garden of Vegan and Animal Ingredients: A to Z, and she gave me a check for $100. I used it to buy another shirt, a calendar, and a cardholder from Otsu. My sister made me an awesome shirt that says, in bleached letters, Soy: The Other White Meat hahaha. My brother hand-stitched me two pillows. My dad bought me Me and You and Everyone We Know, Happy Endings, and Crash on DVD, as well as two gift cards to Target and Barnes & Noble.

In a Sentimental Mood.

I often get this anxiety about writing. Sometimes I feel that if I don't write down the boring, mundane details of my day, I will miss out on something-- on what, I have no idea. So I will make myself go days at a time without writing anything. And my memory is so poor that I quickly forget the one or two things that are actually worth commentary. Then, when I go back over a month's worth of entries, it's all still boring. So the point, which is my current perceived lack of excitement in my life, is effectively not addressed, but skirted.

Everyone has gone home for the holidays, and I'm bored. My mom and brother came up for a few hours this morning to get some groceries they can't find in Monroe. I then took a four hour nap, after which I made a peanutbutter sandwich and ate some potato chips. I was still hungry, so while watching a special on the mind, I made some pasta. I just finished watching Ghost World on the IFC, and here I am, writing about boring details haha.

I think I may venture to Ann Arbor and get some cider. H e l p.
I just realized how funny a word that is.

Updates.

The hallway in my house smells like burnt bacon. I don't care who says what. The odor of burning pig fat is nauseating. I'm amazed at how little meat has appealed to me since I lived at home. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, it doesn't make me want to eat it. It's dead flesh.

I added a few new photos. They're fun.

Also, to whomever decided to combine pretzel nuggets with sesame seeds: You, sir or madame, have made my night. I love you.

Always in time for the holidays.

I remember getting colds as a child, and they never seemed to last longer than a week. I'd have a week of stuffiness, sore throat, and a cough, and then it would pass. If only I still had that luxury.

I've been battling the same general cold for at least a month. It comes for a few days, then it fades, but never disappears. It lingers. It's jealous of my otherwise good health.

It causes me to lose motivation to study or do anything. So I end up staying up late making up for all the things I was supposed to have done during the day. And so I lose sleep because of it. Ironically, loss of sleep is probably what's keeping me sick. I need a good week of solid rest. No work, no school, just rest.

I must confess, though, that I love my sick voice. Not the nasal-ness of it, but how deep it sounds to my own ear. I'm sure it doesn't sound much deeper to other people, but due to my sinuses being backed up and messing with my ears, it sounds deeper to me. I like that. I'd be lying if I said I didn't stand in front of the mirror and say stuff in a deep voice just to pretend I'm all dark and mysterious haha.

That school thing.

Two exams down, three to go. I got the results of my OD exam back, and I got a perfect score, plus two extra credit points. With that, I ended up with the third highest grade in the class. I jumped.

I'm afraid it's all downhill from here, though. My ethics exam wasn't too rough, but it won't be enough to get me an A or even a B probably. I had a D+ going into the exam, which is much worse than I thought. It's my own fault though. I missed a few assignments and didn't do so hot on the midterm. My HR exam will be rough. I don't know where I stand in the class now, but I'm desperately hoping for a B overall. My finance exam will hopefully not be too bad. I'll be prepared. I think that with a good score on it, I can pull off an A in the class. My econ. exam? I have abandoned all hope. I'm walking out of there with a C, and I'm beyond caring. I am done with economics.

I can soon relax for two weeks and regroup. This semester was the worst I've ever had.

Viva la birra.

I am sitting here, drinking a bottle of Sierra Nevada's Celebration Ale, thinking about beer. And I have decided to make a list of some of my favorite beers, in no particular order. Bud drinkers, take note.

• Sierra Nevada Stout
  This is a good staple stout. Strong in flavor and alcohol content (5.8% ABV), but smooth enough not to make you think about coffee rinds. I get this when I'm not feeling adventurous.


• Rogue Mocha Porter
  An amazing mocha porter. If you like mocha, and you like porters, this stuff is for you. 6.5% ABV, plus it comes in pints, which earns it bonus points.


• Victory Storm King Stout
  Like stouts? This is your ticket to bragging rights over all your lesser stout-loving friends. This is quite possibly the perfect commercial stout. This stout earned a 100/100 in a taste contest, and if you've ever had it, you know why. Though it boasts, and proudly so, a 9.1% ABV, you'd never know it by taste. Smooth, creamy, great finish.


• Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
  A pale ale for people who don't usually like pale ales. This doesn't have the citrusy, mouth-puckering bite that is typical of pale ales. 5.6% ABV.


• New Holland Poet Stout
  Another excellent stout with 6.5% ABV. Strong, dark, and notably smooth. I recently tried this for the first time, and I will be buying it again soon. Too bad it's seasonal.


• Bell's 20th Anniversary Ale
  I'm a fan of Bell's, and usually their beer is a good conservative choice, or a good choice in a pinch. However, when I tried their 20th Anniversary Ale, I was blown away. I don't know how they made such a light, golden ale taste so good. It's a lighter one with enough alcohol content to do the job (5.8% ABV), and it tastes pretty much like domestic beers such as Budweiser and Miller could only hope to taste like.


• Founder's Dirty Bastard Ale
  I can think of only one way to describe this ale, and that way is best transcribed as "holy fucking crap." Weighing in at a whopping 8.3% ABV, Dirty Bastard Ale packs a punch that is sure to leave your unborn children feeling it. Dirty, nasty, and tasting pretty much how I imagine a Scottish loch to taste, this ale needs some time to grow on you. With so much alcohol, though, after the first bottle, you're gold.


• Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
  I'm quite happy I tried this. I almost passed it off as a light, festive beer due to its Christmas-esque labeling, and I was nearly fooled. With 6.8% ABV, this is no light beer. In fact, it's quite strong where it counts. It also has a bit of a bubbly texture and a great finish. Feliz Navidad, bitches.

And that concludes the beer list for now. Try a few of these, and you can tell your Bud Light-loving frat bros to cram their twist-off caps up their stupid asses. Or if you're a girl, get yourself that much closer to me wanting to jump your bones.

Whoa-o.

I was up so late last night that I decided not to go back to bed. I made pancakes at 6am, and I finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha. I had full intentions of going to class in the morning, until I realized that I could barely see straight I was so tired. So I went to bed and just now woke up at 5pm.

I am so productive that I amaze myself, sometimes.

New home.

It's been a long time, I know.

Calamityproject.com went down about a month ago, and Joe hasn't gotten around to rebuilding my account. I don't mind, since he let me use his space for free for like two years. The guy is awesome.

Regardless, I switched everything over to my school's account, only to find that it doesn't support CGI scripts, erego no more Greymatter. Bummer. The only way I could integrate a manageable, organized blog was to do it through Blogger.com, which is what I did. And I spent the last five hours doing so!

So take a look around. Check things out. I added a few new pictures, but nothing you haven't seen on my myspace or facebook.

Cheers.