Adoption is as bad as marriage!

Gays can't adopt children for much longer.

Seriously, I don't know where these people get the balls to deny people the right to raise a child on the basis of them not knowing what a real family is. It is absolutely ludicrous, especially when we have trailer trash parents all over the country who can adopt as many children as they want, abuse them, and live off the government's welfare checks, which they get more of for each child, like my friend Jessie's adoptive mother. And it is downright offensive that these far-right religious fanatics are touting the sanctity of marriage and the value of the family. Hello, sirs and madames, but your constituents in the Bible Belt states are divorcing one another at a much higher rate than all us pesky liberals. And you, the same people who pushed legislation against interracial marriages, are really going to base your agenda on the concepts of family and morality? Nigga, please.

If you want to regain your foothold and public standing with the general population, it would behoove you to do it ethically and admit your misgivings. But you're politicians, and conservative Christian politicians, at that. It must be tough, rewarding work telling all of us heathens how to live our lives with moral and personal integrity, with fine, God-fearing folks like Pat Robertson on your front lines. I sympathize.

Nah, I don't. Go get bent on your crucifixes.

Is Dick Cheney gonna have to pop a bitch?!

WASHINGTON - Vice President
Dick Cheney apparently broke the No. 1 rule of hunting: be sure of what you're shooting at.

Umm, no shit.

Personally, I can't get over how all these news articles refer to Whittington having been "peppered." Peppered? I pepper my baked potatoes. I don't shoot them point blank with a shotgun...

Oh Dick, you silly bastard.

I'll probably get Patriot Act-ed.

I don't know how to explain it, but today was full of movies and documentaries about suicide bombers and war in the Middle East, seemingly by chance. While getting batteries at Target, I happened upon a movie I remembered having seen a trailer for, The War Within, and I bought it. Then when I came home, I turned on the Discovery Times channel to find a documentary on a group of Afghani refugee children in Pakistan, followed by a documentary on women in the Middle East.

I have a sudden fascination with those cultures.

Whey pissed.

So, for the past several months I have been buying soy margarine from the People's Food Co-op. It is manufactured by another co-op and sold at the PFC for like $1.59, which is a fantastic price for soy margarine. On both the front and back of the box, it clearly states that there are no animal ingredients used in the product or its manufacturing. So, it's safe.

Or so I thought.

Last night, after using the last stick and discarding the box, my eye caught a glimpse of a "D" next to the circle U. I don't know much about kosher food laws, but I know enough to mean that it either contains dairy or is made on equipment that process dairy. I'm not militant enough of a vegan to worry about equipment that processes dairy, so long as there is none of it in my food, but I got curious anyway and flipped the box over to the ingredients. And then I noticed the clause. "Contains: soy and milk."

"What the fuck?"

Sure enough, at the very end of the ingredients listing is whey, a milk product. So then, just to make sure my memory wasn't failing me and that my reading skills didn't revert to a 2nd grade level, I flipped back to the front, where it explicitly said no animal ingredients. And then I flipped it back over to where it explicitly said that the products contains no ingredients of animal origin. Then I read the whey part again. And then I scratched my head. I had just been duped by a co-op in Iowa. Angry? Oh you bet.

I mailed out a letter of disgust and ridicule today. I mean, how is it even possible not to consider whey an animal ingredient? It comes from milk! Last I checked, milk comes from cows, brah.

Pssh.. Iowa.